


The Triggers List

by TeaSpent



Series: Marvel Shorts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Family, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Steve Rogers, Team as Family, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 02:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13894683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaSpent/pseuds/TeaSpent
Summary: After the first 'incident', the triggers list was made. Stuck on to the fancy fridge in the Avenger's Tower with a purple smiley face magnet, the paper has everyones name's on it, as well as a bulleted list of triggers.Well, that is, everyone except for Tony.





	The Triggers List

**Author's Note:**

> Was this only supposed to be 1,000ish words? Yes. Is it? Nope!
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> WARNING: Breif mention of torture. See end note for more warnings.

The first incident was during a prank war between Clint and Tony.

This wasn't uncommon in tower, and everyone knew to be careful or else they would get caught up in a prank meant for someone else. So when Steve walked into the room and the bucket of ice water fell on him, no one was entirely surprised. However, when Steve started to panic, the entire team was in shock, rushing to help him. Needless to say, Tony is a bit more careful with his pranks now.

After Steve calmed down, the team wanted an explanation, because normally their 'fearless leader' doesn't have random panic attacks. So he explains. He explains the memories and the flashbacks and the dreams. The crash and the cold and the falling plane.

And the team listens, and soon they are all sharing. Some more than others, but most everyone is sharing what makes them tick, what makes them panic. And so the triggers list is made.

~~~

The fridge in the communal kitchen is high tech, what you would expect from Tony. It's sleek and modern and all fancy looking, and the team doesn't even know what half of it does. Oh, and it has a purple smiley face magnet holding a piece of paper on it as well.

The paper is just a sheet of sketchbook paper, that Steve grabbed when they started talking one day. Because no one wanted anymore 'incidents' in the tower. So they talked and Steve wrote, with their permission, of course. The list had all the team member's names on it, and then a list of bullets.

Every now and then, something might be added or taken off the list. But overall, it's pretty unchanging.

Each person has a few things that are on the list, some general things such as loud noises or being grabbed from behind, but there are also other things. More personal things. Things that may or may not be explained if they are asked about. Because the list is just there. No one asks about it. They just re-read it every now and then and remember to stay away from the items listed. Simple as that.

~~~

Some are more obvious than others.

Under Natasha's name is ballet music.

Bruce has confined spaces.

Clint has mind control and hypnosis.

Steve has the cold.

Thor only has a few things, and most of them are specific to Asgard.

~~~

Sometimes things are added to the list that even the person in question didn't know about. Like when Thor made popcorn in one his visits and Steve, sleep deprived and only half awake, nearly punched the microwave because it sounded like gunshots. (Now, someone always yells that they're making popcorn before they start making it).

So slowly, the list grew.

~~~

"Did Thor leave?" Clint asked as he walked into the kitchen, to see Tony already there, pouring coffee.

"Yeah, some Asgardian stuff came up. He'll be back in a week or so, their time," Tony said, getting another mug for the archer down from the cupboard, even though he had to go on his tiptoes to do so.

Turning around to give Clint his coffee, Tony sees him reading the list on the fridge. Clearing his throat, he waits until Clint turns back to take the coffee from his hands.

"Thanks," he says, taking a sip of the fresh coffee, knowing Tony knows how he likes it.

"You know..." Clint starts.

"I know a lot of things, you're gonna have to be a little more specific," Tony says, cutting Clint off and smirking over his own mug.

"You're not on the list," finished Clint, with a playful glare to his typically sarcastic friend.

"The list?" Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You were there when we made it," says Clint, shooting him an unimpressed look.

"Oh, your guys’s 'triggers list'?" He asks, pointing to the general area of the fridge.

"Yep," Clint says, starting at Tony. "Your names on there but there's nothing under it,"

"Maybe I don't have any triggers," comes the reply.

"Everyone in this kind of job has at least one, Stark,"

"Yeah?" Asks Tony, heading towards the door. "Well, I have always been a special snowflake," he shouts over his shoulder as he exists, taking another mug of coffee with him as he goes down the elevator to his workshop.

"Special snowflake my ass," Clint mutters, smiling as he finishes his coffee.

~~~

In hindsight it wasn't a good idea to start another prank war with Clint. But when has Tony ever listened to reason?

It started small, with tampering with the agent’s bow and mixing up the genius's coffee, but it started to grow to more extremes.

One morning, Tony walked into the kitchen, sleepy and not fully awake to find a bucket of water dumped on him.

In shock, Tony immediately looks around to find the source, which is a smirking Clint on top of the fridge.

Taking in his surroundings, Tony tries to ground himself, to fend off the fast approaching memories of the last time water was around his head. Taking a few deep breaths, he walks back out the way he came, trying to ignore the shake of his hands and the yell of his name.

Taking the elevator down to his workshop, Tony punches in the key code and sits down on the floor behind the door, resting his still wet head on the glass.

"Lockdown Jarvis," Tony rasps out, bringing his hands up to his head and gripping his hair as the windows behind him tint, making it impossible to see or to break through to the inside.

Suddenly, the shock Tony had suppressed from earlier comes back full blast, taking Tony's breath away.

After a few minutes of sitting there while the tremors and sobs racked his body, Tony pulls his hair harshly.

"Get it together Stark," he hisses to himself. "Was just a little water," he says, inwardly cursing himself for the display of weakness only a few minutes prior.

Later that day when Tony goes back down to the kitchen he finds the mess on the floor cleaned up and no mentions of the previous incident, which Tony is very much grateful for.

~~~

Are there times of the year when villains are more abundant? Because if so then Tony feels like now is that time. Just in the last week, the team has dealt with four different villains, and they just got the call for the fifth. Needless to say, the whole team is cranky and tired, which isn't a good combination when trying to fight supercharged badies who want to kill them.

The latest addition to the lineup of villians in a element manipulator, who has currently taken up residence in the middle of the town, standing in the center of the park and currently hurling rocks at random people and making semi-sentient rock golems, because why not.

"Okay people, look alive," Cap says over the comm, making Tony roll his eyes as he flies over to the area of the fight

"Aye aye captain," Clint says, with a mock solute. "Hey Tony, give me a ride?" He asks, seeing the metal suit arrive.

"Hold on tight Katniss,"

With Clint on the top of a building and the rest of the team fighting, excluding the Hulk, it didn't seem necessary, and Thor, Asgardian business, the group springs into action.

The fight, like most of them, is a blur. Things fly, rocks hurl, people punch, and everyone hopes it turns out well. And it was going well. That is, until the 'badie of the week' decided to make use of the lake to her left.

Blasting golem after golem, the last thing Tony expects to see is a facefull of water. 

And yet, here it is.

Apparently she does water too. Brilliant.

"Water," Tony croaks out over the comm, maintaining his composure relatively well. The suit helps, he supposes.

"Sorry?" Cap asks.

Clearing his throat Tony tries again, while starting to blast the new water golems. "Water golems now too. Pretty easy to destroy though, I mean, they're water," Tony adds, trying to get his normal attitude back. "Honestly, kids these days don't even try anymore,"

~~~

The battle is over pretty quickly. The element manipulator isn't hard to take down and soon they're in SHIELD custody.

"Great job guys," Steve says, ever the cheery one.

Nodding, everyone regroups near the SHIELD van, that is, everyone except for Tony.

"Anyone see Stark?" Clint asks, looking around.

"No, did he leave?" Steve asks, also searching the area for their teammate.

"Sir left when the battle was done, Captain Rogers," A voice says over the comm.

"Can you tell him we need to debrief, Jarvis?" Steve asks.

After a moment's pause, the AI speaks again. "I'm afraid Sir will not be joining you for the debriefing,"

Sighing, Steve runs a hand through his hair.

"That's the third time this month that he's skipped," Clint points out, saying what the rest of the team were thinking.

~~~

Once inside, Tony takes of the suit and goes straight to his workshop.

"Load top three priority projects, J," he says, walking over to his bench.

As the holograms come to life, the blue light illuminating the room, Tony picks one at random. With the increase in attacks, Pepper has been getting a little annoyed at the lack of work Tony had been doing, due to his time being otherwise occupied. Therefore, it doesn't really matter what he chooses, she'll be happy with anything that she can give the board at this point.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting your presence for debriefing, again," Jarvis says, voice echoing in the workshop.

"Tell 'em no Jarvis, a little busy," he says, hands flying from the hologram to the keyboard as he works.

"Of course sir,"

~~~

"I regret to inform you, Captain Rogers, but Sir will not be joining you,"

"Please Jarvis, Tony needs to be here," Steve pleads for the last time.

After a moment of silence the AI responds again.

"The answer remains the same, I'm afraid," Jarvis responds, sounding slightly disappointed.

~~~

Six weeks and nearly forty villains in SHIELD custody later, the whole team is tired and irritable. So when Natasha tells them that Phil has set up a vacation in some beach, due to the fact that they can't "fight effectively if they're too tired," they all quickly agree.

~~~

Knocking on the door to the lab, Steve is greeted with silence.

"Jarvis?" He asks, looking at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Captain Rogers, but Sir is currently on lockdown,"

"Steve, please," Steve says, for the third time that month. "Doesn't he know we're leaving today?"

"I did inform Sir, however he seem reluctant to leave," comes the response, in the British accent of his as always.

Signing and rolling his eyes, Steve recites his override code and is happy to see the door swing open, revealing a very dishevelled looking engineer hunched over his bench.

Jumping at the sound of the door, Tony turns around.

"Cap! What're you doing here?" He asks, still fiddling with something.

"To get you," Steve says, flopping down on the worn couch.

"Oh right, Jarvis told me about your little vacation," Tony says, waving his hand at Steve as he says vacation. "I'm staying here,"

"You're staying here?" Steve asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Mmhm, with all the baddies deciding to pop up recently, haven't really had time to do that much work. Pepper'll kill me if I don't get this done," he says absently, as if it's obvious.

"Coulson already talked to Pepper,"

"What?" Tony says, turning around quickly. "Agent talked to Pep? And she's letting me go?"

"Well, she says she can tell you're tired by your work. She also says she's told you multiple times over the past month to take a break and you refused," the blonde says, with a pointed look at Tony "You need rest too Tony,"

"Nonsense Cap, rest is a conspiracy," the genius says, though he's already saving his work. He can tell that Steve won't be leaving without him and honestly he's too tired to argue at this point.

~~~

The beach is nice. It's not well known so it's empty, but none of the team are complaining. It's nice knowing they aren't going be flocked by tourists.

Most of the team, Thor, Clint, Steve, and Bruce, are in the water. Natasha is reading a book near the water, though she's safely assured that no one will splash her again (Her initial glare at Clint made sure of that).

And Tony?

Tony is multiple feet away from the water, working on his tablet on a beach chair.

"Tony, vacation means no work," Clint says, plucking the tablet from Tony's hands.

"Hey!" Comes the response, as Tony attempts to reach for the tablet.

"C'mon, the waters great," Clint says, gesturing back to where Bruce, Steve, and Thor are still in the waves.

"I'll pass," Tony says, through gritted teeth.

"Come on dude, why not?"

"Reactor shouldn't get wet," he says, using it as an excuse.

"I thought you fixed that within the first week of making it?" Yells Bruce.

With an unamused look at his science buddy Tony continues trying to get the tablet back from Clint, who is still insisting Tony come join them.

"Nat, tell Clint to give me my tablet back," He wines, with a pleading look to the assassin.

"Clint give Tony back his tablet," Natasha says absently, turning a page, but not before giving Tony a knowing look.

Sticking his tongue out at him, Tony takes the tablet back from Clint's wet hands, rubbing it off on his shirt.

~~~

The hotel is top notch, as it should be; apparently Pepper picked it for the team.

"Pepper helped you plan this?!"

With a small smirk, Natasha nods. "She was fully on board from day one,"

Groaning, Tony flops on the couch in the lounge that the team had taken over. At least this explains why the beach and hotel are empty.

"Clint and Thor want to go to the pool, are you coming?" Steve asks, walking into the lounge and looking at Tony, Bruce, and Natasha.

"Sure," Bruce says.

"I'll pass," "We'll come," Tony and Natasha say simultaneously.

With a glare towards the redhead, Tony shakes his head at Steve, opening his mouth.

"I'll st-"

"Great, see the three of you there in ten minutes," Steve says before walking out, Bruce behind him.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go back to my room," Tony says, jumping up.

"Antoshka, you know you can tell us anything, right?" Natasha asks suddenly as Tony is leaving, making him freeze.

"...I'll come, but I'm not going in the water," Tony says, knowing that if he didn't show, Natasha will personally show up and drag him down by his collar. Besides, there something gentle about Natasha's tone at the moment, and he doesn't want to lose that.

"Good," she says firmly.

"Yeah," he mutters. "Thanks Tasha," he whispers, while leaving, just missing her small smile.

~~~

True to his word, Tony shows, about two minutes before Natasha would have had to make a trip to his room. Clutching his tablet, he sits down near Natasha, who has her eyes currently closed, and who nods in acknowledgment as he sits down, her eyes still closed.

Looking at the vast and empty pool, he spots the four other members of the team in the pool, Clint splashing all of them.

~~~

At some point, Natasha enters the pool too, gracefully sliding in and doing laps, Steve joining her every now and then.

~~~

Half an hour later and Tony looks up to see a grinning and soaking wet Clint standing above him.

"Yes?"

"Please?" Clint asks, still grinning, while gesturing to the pool.

"Sorry Katniss, not gonna happen," Tony says, his attention going back to the screen.

"Why don't you come sit by the edge?" Steve shouts from the pool, his arms crossed on the edge as he leans over to look at the two.

Turning back to look at him, Clint grins again.

Sighing, Tony shoots a pleading look at Natasha, who is floating on the surface of the water, and whose eyes are very conveniently closed at the moment.

"Fine," Tony mutters, not wanting to explain his aversion if he keeps protesting. Besides, it's only a little water, at most his legs, right?

~~~

It's more than a little water.

On edge as soon as he puts his legs in the water, Tony does his best to relax. Honestly, it shouldn't even affect him, he thinks. His heads dry, right? But it's the thought that at any point he could just get pulled under that has him so tightly wound.

"You don't have to do this Tony," Natasha murmurs as she floats past, eyes still shut.

"And have them ask questions? You know I can't do that Tasha," he replies.

With a small sigh, she let's a small but sad smile over her face. "I know,"

~~~

Of course, once Tony had gotten used to it, it had to all fall down, didn't it?

He's pretty sure Steve didn't mean to. He, Thor, and Clint were playing some game, chasing each other or something like that. Tony was really paying attention; he was more focused on maintaining his composure.

But Steve grabbed his leg, and, probably thinking it was the wall of something, used Tony's leg to try and pull himself up.

Which didn't work, obviously. Steve is much stronger and heavier than Tony, stronger and heavier than most people for that matter.

And so Tony is suddenly pulled underwater with a surprised yell that get swallowed by the rushing water and that quickly lets water into and down his throat. His mind goes blank for a second before the only thoughts left are pleas and dark memories from times not long enough ago.

Thrashing frantically, Tony manages to get up and take a breath of air as he climbs out if the pools and kneels, coughing up water and clutching his chest.

Someone, he doesn't know who, comes up behind him and places their hand on his shoulder. Flinching, Tony pulls back, his mind fuzzy and his vision dancing. Feeling nauseous, Tony stumbles to his feet and ignores the concerned yells from his team as he crashes into the trash can before throwing up into it. Shivering, he looks around frantically for the door, launching himself at it and half running all the way back the elevator, where he promptly collapses on the floor, a shivering, cold, and scared mess.

"Stop it," he hisses to himself over and over, clutching his head and pulling at his wet hair as the elevator dings, and he goes back to his room. Sinking to the floor there, hands still in his hair, wet clothing still clinging to his cold and shaking body, Tony lets the sobs flow, racking his body.

~~~

Quickly scrambling to get out of the water, the whole team watched as Tony climbs out and coughs violently.

"Tony?" Bruce asks, in-between other shouts from various members of the team.

The whole team is shouting at Tony, who doesn't seem to be hearing anything, Bruce notes. His eyes are far way, and the coughing is not helping.

Walking over to the man slowly, Bruce puts a gentle arm on his shoulder, going to help him up. However, when Tony flinches violently, Bruce immediately pulls back, letting Tony throw up and eventually crawl away, not listening to the protests of the team.

~~~

"What happened?" Clint asks, as everyone stands in shock staring at the door a few seconds after if closed.

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is that someone go up and see how he's doing," Natasha says firmly.

"While I would be glad to visit and make sure our friend is okay, I find that I can be less calm and comforting to you humans at times," Thor says, still looking at the door.

"I doubt Tony wants to see a doctor right now," Bruce adds, looking at Clint.

"Me?" He asks, looking at the team. "No, I don't think so. You know how bad I am at this stuff,"

"That leaves the Captain and the Widow," Thor says, looking at the two remaining people.

"We'll go together," Natasha says, grabbing Steve's arm and already pulling him out the door.

~~~

"Why us?" Steve asks in the elevator as he puts on the shirt Natasha magically had.

"Because," starts the redhead as she wrings out her drying hair. "While I probably know Tony best, we didn't exactly have the best start. But he trusts you, so it made sense that both of us should go," she explains as the elevator dings.

Knocking on the door, the room is silent.

"Tony?" Asks Steve. "Are you okay?"

After there is no response, Steve tries again.

"Tony? We're coming in, okay?" He asks, Natasha already opening the door with her key card.

~~~

Once inside, the room is silent other than the sound of soft sobs. Following the sound, suddenly Steve and Natasha come to find Tony, curled up, against the wall near the bed.

"Antoshka?" Natasha asks gently.

"M'fine," comes the response, muttered into Tony's knees. "Go 'way,"

"Not a chance, darling," Steve says, inching closer but still leaving enough room for Tony to leave if he needed.

After a full minute of silence, and after the sobs had calmed down, Tony spoke again.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

Steve and Natasha exchanged looks before she spoke up.

"To check on you," she said, simply.

"And fo apologize," Steve added.

"Apologize? Why?" Tony asked, looking up.

"Didn't mean to pull you under. I'm sorry," Steve said, looking at his friends tear streaked face.

"Oh. It's fine. Just overreacted," Tony said, muttering as he got to the end.

"It's not overreacting Tony," Natasha said, looking into his eyes.

"...right," he said, not seeming convinced. "Well! Should get you guys out of those wet clothes. Then I'll tell you what you want to know," Tony mumbled, trying to jump up, only to stumble. Catching him, Steve looked at the genius, only now noticing how pale he is.

"You should rest first Tony," he said, ignoring the last sentence.

"Rest is for the weak Capsicle," Tony shouted, though his words were slurred.

"Uh-huh," Natasha said, looking unconvinced. "Come on Antoshka, let's get you out of the clothes first and then into the bed,"

"Yeah, yeah. I can do it," Tony said, brushing them off.

"Sure?" Steve asked, looking doubtful.

"Sure thing Cap," Tony said, even as he stumbled to the suitcase near the wardrobe.

Sharing yet another look, both Natasha and Steve head to the door.

"Yell if you need anything, okay Tony?" Steve asked.

Nodding, Tony only waved behind himself again, as the door closed.

~~~

Breathing a sigh of relief as the door closes, Tony decides that rest might actually be a good idea for once. Quickly taking his phone he whispers "Jarvis?"

"Yes Sir?" Comes the response, voice sounding slightly weird coming from the phone's speakers.

"Keep watch, will you?" He asks, knowing Jarvis won't have any trouble accessing the security camera system.

"Of course Sir,"

Placing the phone to the side of the bed Tony changes into pajama pants and a t-shirt, curling up onto the far too big bed and slowly closing his eyes, the arc reactor lighting the room as he fades to sleep.

~~~

Heading back downstairs, the elevator is silent.

"How is he?" Bruce asks, as soon as they get downstairs.

"Shaken, obviously. He had a panic attack," Steve supplies.

"Did you get him to rest? Clint asks from the couch.

"Yes," Natasha says, sitting down. "Hopefully he'll sleep for a while,"

~~~

Two hours later, Steve gets a phone call.

"Hello?" He asks, hoping it's not Fury.

"Captain Rogers, Sir needs your help," comes the response, from an AI who sounds more concerned than an AI should be able to.

Gesturing to the team to follow him, he quickly walks to the elevator, everyone filling in.

"What's wrong?" He asks, mouthing Jarvis to a confused looking Clint.

"I fear Sir is having a nightmare,"

~~~

Quickly opening the door, the whole team goes in, standing in the corner, as Bruce goes over to Tony, gently coaxing him awake while subtly checking his vitals.

"Tony? Tony wake up," he says, until his friend awakes with a gasp, eyes darting around the room.

"You're okay, you're okay, I've got you," Bruce says, giving Tony some space.

"Wha-?" Tony asks, staring at the team.

"Friend Jarvis called," Thor said, from the corner.

Turning around to glare at the security camera Tony then looks at the team. "I'm fine. Really," he says, giving him his best "Tony Stark smile".

"Tony.." Bruce starts.

"I really am fine Brucie Bear, but thanks for the worry," he says.

"You were crying," Clint points out.

Feeling his face and looking at his wet fingers Tony says "Huh. Guess I was,"

Rolling her eyes, Natasha slowly walks forward, sitting on the bed. Gauging to see if it was alright, she then slips under the covers with Tony. Speechless, Tony watched as the rest of the team joins into the big best, Natasha and Steve either side of him with Bruce opting for the chair to the side of the bed, Thor next to Natasha, and Clint at the foot of the bed.

"Wha-?" He starts before a finger is put over his mouth.

"We won't asks questions Tony, we promise, but at least let us stay and help you," Natasha says, curling into her friend.

Nodding slowly, still a little confused, Tony eventually closes his eyes, drifting back off to sleep.

~~~

Tony wakes up gently, for once. No gasping or crying or screaming. Just, at one moment her was asleep and now he's awake. It's nice.

It's also nice to see the whole team is still there, and also very much awake.

"It started after Afghanistan," Tony says, not able to bear the silence any longer.

"You don't have to tell us anyt-"

"Shut up Cap," Tony says, then continues, voice raspy from crying. "Waterboarding was their favorite I guess, and I was also their favorite, because I'm everyone's favorite aren't I?" Tony jokes, though the bitterness and sadness in his tone is apparent. "Couldn't shower for months afterwards," he mutters. "So yeah. Now you know," he says, not about to tell all of them the entire story of what happening in Afghanistan; at least not right now. Instead he closes his eyes to avoid looking at his friends. 

And he drifts back of to sleep, still surrounded by them, who all have looks of understanding on their face. And that is priceless. Because if they had looks of pity, he really doesn't know what he would have done.

~~~

The vacation ends with no other events and soon the team in back home.

~~~

The fridge in the Avengers Tower's kitchen is sleek and beautiful and high tech. And it also has a sheet of paper on it, with a sleek and beautiful and high tech purple smiley face magnet on it.

The paper is edited every now and then. And everyone, including Tony, looks at it every now and then to make sure it hasn't changed, and fo memorize any new changes that have happened.

The triggers list has everyone's name on it and then a bulleted list of triggers.

Some are more obvious than others, but even those that seem a little confusing are never questioned.

Under Natasha's name is ballet music.

Bruce has confined spaces.

Clint has mind control and hypnosis.

Steve has the cold.

Thor has various Asgardian items.

And Tony has water.

~~~

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: Brief mention of waterboarding, description of panic attack, mention of vomiting.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this little one shot! It honestly took me forever to write, and I have no idea why. Any suggestions, comments, corrections, or improvements are greatly appreciated, so don't hesitate to say something!
> 
> I hope everyone is have a great day, and I'll see you soon!
> 
> Teas~


End file.
